just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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