The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
