addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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