giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
We got so high we made milksteak
Even my vagina gasped.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize