Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
