I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I didn't notice because vodka
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Randomize
