I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
