i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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