i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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