Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize
