My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
