We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
