Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
