i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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