You're completely useless in the revolution.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
