Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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