somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
