On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
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