Me. At least after what I've been through.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
