I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
