i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
