i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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