Where did you get a picture of my penis
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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