babies were throwing up all over the place
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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