You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
You're so nebulous sometimes
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
