He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Randomize
