after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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