is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
