Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
So many bounce houses so little time
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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