Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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