i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
lol hangovers are for mortals.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
