when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Randomize
