I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Holy shit dude........stairs
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
