I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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