i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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