ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
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