super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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