OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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