and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
