there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
