You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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