wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
