Having a random hookup so left but love u
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
