I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
