I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
My life is pants optional.
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