I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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