I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize