I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
