I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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