I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
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