i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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