therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
