In the future we'll all be gay
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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