so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
