I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
