Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
