some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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