Your dad touched me again.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I would fuck him just for his dog
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