i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
