Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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