that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
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