She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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