I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
