nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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